Welcome to my blog. I have decided to share my experiences because I know I am not alone in them and I think together we can do better than we can alone. Obesity is at an alarming level in this country and I unfortunately have been in that category all of my life. Like Gandhi said “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” Don’t get me wrong - I know I am no Gandhi. (The hunger strike thing alone makes that pretty clear.) But clearly we as a nation are on the wrong track when it comes to our health and it is time we spend as much time taking care of our personal health as we do our personal finances.
Come back from time to time. Check out my progress. Learn some new health tips. Have a laugh with me, or at my expense. It’s all good. (I am particularly excited to share with you a story I like to call “Why there are no fat girls in yoga class.” So keep an eye out for that.)
******DISCLAMER****
Please remember… I am just a graphic designer trying to get healthier, not a doctor, so remember my advice is not medical. I am just sharing what I am going through and what has and hasn’t worked for me. Talk to your doctor about anything specific you are going through and let them help you through your weight loss journey. Also, I am not a writer, so please give me a break on the grammar and spelling corrections. Seriously.
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I used to want to be that girl who does yoga. You know the type. She seems strong, confident and at peace with herself and the world around her. She prances into the gym, past those of us sweating our a***s off on the cardio machines looking like fat kids chasing an ice cream truck in New York in July — carrying her little mat and cork bricks. You see her through the windows of the yoga studio contorting her body in ungodly ways and her face seems to say "Oh, this is just how I sit."
Then the class switches poses and everyone is balancing their entire body weight on their left ear so they can better hear what the earth would say to them today, or something. The next time you look over they are in downward facing dog or child at rest or some crap like that, and your view is suddenly obscured by the line of men who just happen to need a drink from the water fountain located by the studio at that exact moment.
You hear the peaceful sound, almost whisper of "Namaste." And she glides out of the gym as silently as she entered. Hair still perfectly in place, and a single bead of sweat escapes her brow and trickles delicately down her still serene face. You could swear you hear her say "Wow, what a workout," as the gym door closes behind her.
You mop off the implement of your 45 minutes of torture, climb off the stairclimber and amble like Quasimodo towards the Nautilus equipment.
On October 7th I wrote a column about conquering emotional eating. I logically went step by step through how to move past bad times and bad feelings without covering them with food. Now, in retrospect, I realize that I might as well have looked fate in the eyes and said "bring it!"
But it had already been broughten.
A week later I ended a three year relationship with my then boyfriend. A week after that, I "celebrated" my 30th birthday. This was followed quickly by: a holiday season spent unexpectedly single, the re-homing of a beloved pet, a confusing re-entry into the dating world, and various other personal catastrophes that I won’t go into here.
In the midst of all of this, I just couldn’t bring myself to write. One thing I have always taken very seriously with this column is honesty and transparency. And quite frankly, I just didn’t want to talk about it. The last thing on my mind was what I was doing to my body. I didn’t care.
Then, on January 8th, I found out that my grandmother died.
Okay, so I know what you are thinking, a Reese’s is hardly punishment let alone any sort of penance. Bear with me. Reese’s are good. I enjoy them. Except when I don’t. Okay, put on your hip-waders, we’re going deep today.
We all have bad days. We all mess up. And some of us really beat ourselves up for that. The screw up could be food related or not. In the grand scheme of things it may be a big deal or not. But if you are like me, you have very little grace or forgiveness for yourself compared to what you have for others. When I mess up I get upset. And when I get upset, I put food on it. I don’t enjoy the food. I don’t think I even taste it. It’s a form of self-medication to distract from what I am feeling. I sabotage myself because at these times, on some level I feel like I don’t deserve to be successful. Then I feel even worse about myself and the cycle continues.
I made a bit of a breakthrough this week, I put down the Reese’s. While changing these behaviors is far from easy, it is simple. Try these steps next time you are tempted to reach for food for comfort.
A friend recently told me that she lost 5 pounds just by quitting DIET SODA! Yeah, crazy I know. She said she found that she wasn’t as hungry when she wasn’t throwing back the diet soda all day. Who knows why this is. There are different theories. I have heard that it is because the sweetness in the soda makes you crave more calories. Or maybe it’s just that when she wasn’t drinking soda she was making more healthful beverage choices like water, which helped her metabolism function better. Who knows. But for five pounds I will give it a try.
There was an article this week on WUH called Drink Think that, well… got me thinking about the lack of attention often given to our beverage choices. Many beverages have calories and everything we put into our bodies comes with a consequence. If we are not careful it is easy to end up with a drink that, caloricly-speaking, is more like a side-dish or possibly even a main course. So let’s take a little more time and think about what we drink. Here are some of my thoughts on beverages:
Every Tuesday is a kind of “Come to Jesus” meeting for me. I spend my day drinking coffee and eating as little as possible in preparation for the dreaded appointment I have right after work…. the weigh in. I along with my fellow food loving cohorts line up to stand on a scale and talk to a virtual stranger about “how we did this week.” This is a service we pay for. It’s AA for foodies (aka: Weight Watchers.)
After we weigh in we go into the main room and wait for the meeting to start. While we do that the discussion inevitably turns to how hungry we are and how God gave us bacon to show us that He loves us. Or something like that. Probably not helpful.
But we also talk about helpful things. Recipes and products we have discovered. Ways to lighten up our favorite foods. Our current food addictions (For example I went through a time where I couldn’t get enough of those Fiber One and Fiber Plus bars. They are like candy. But alas, with different consequences….)
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